Earlier this month on March 3rd 2024 was the National Day of Reflection led by Marie Curie, who invited individuals to remember people who died during the COVID pandemic, whatever the cause, by creating a wall of reflection within their communities.
As of the 17th December 2023, The World Health Organisation shared the number of global deaths from COVID-19 to be 7 million. In some ways, it seems less than 4 years since the COVID pandemic, perhaps because the ripples of the pandemic remain. Who would have thought that 4 years ago, during our lifetimes we would see a pandemic that would be a threat to our own and our loved ones' lives, and to date taken 7 million people’s lives. Watching the recent COVID drama “Breathtaking”, I was reminded to pause and reflect on these moments; within a grief process – 4 years is not very long.
A primary teacher and I reflected this week on how her Year 6 children are about to take their SATS after Easter. They would have been in Year 2 during the pandemic and a 6/7-year-old child’s natural development stage at this time is increased language and socialisation. Today many of these 10/11 year old’s present with anxiety.
Only 4 years ago within the counselling profession, counsellors transitioned their work online, whilst researching online platforms and juggling homeschooling. I remember at this time wondering whether I was working ethically to support my clients online, but trusting and taking the lead from the BACP, my wonderful supervisors and organisations I continued. I remember the case study I wrote for my BACP accreditation involved transitioning a client from weekly face-to-face counselling sessions to online sessions, and my supervisor and I finding the humour as his iPad charge failed after a day of supervisees.
The BACP now has an Online Phone and Therapy competence framework adding to its ethical framework, and the Iron Mill Advanced Diploma in Integrative Counselling recently integrated an Online Phone and Therapy module to support student counsellors with their online competency, which I feel privileged to support, although there are at times hauntings of 4 years ago.
As I write this, I am preparing for a weekend of teaching student counsellors - transference and countertransference – which I feel is an essential part of any counsellors therapy toolbox. From the beginning of our counselling training and practices, we are encouraged to self-reflect and speak from the “I” during check-ins and check-outs alongside our learning logs, letters to self and process notes. As a student counsellor myself, one supervisor would invite me to draw an image straight after a counselling session as part of my self-reflection. I understand how reflection involves the use of “self” during the counselling process, to ensure we are working in the best and safest interest of our clients.
I recently watched “An evening with Yalom “ who is a 92 year’s old American Psychiatrist. A student counsellor asked Irvin Yalom what he wished he himself had known as a student counsellor, and he answered how he wished he had known the importance of personal therapy and supervision to support his counselling work over the years.
I believe self-care also provides an important time to reflect. I introduce the concept of self-care to children as young as 8 years old within my therapeutic work. Pausing and reflecting for a moment offers us some calm and time to soothe our busy minds, so as one child expressed, we don’t snowball all of our feelings and thoughts into the months and years ahead of us.
The 3rd of March has passed by now, but there is always time to reflect and pause for yourself, alongside remembering loved ones within your families and communities as we move into Spring - so take a moment to melt any snowballs.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
-Maya Angelou
Marie Curie | The UK’s leading end of life charity
CRUSE Home - Cruse Bereavement Support
WINSTON WISH - giving hope to grieving children (winstonswish.org)
https://uksobs.org (survivors of bereavement to suicide)
Support and self-care for grief - Mind
Untangle Grief | Bereavement & Grief Support
by Emma Prichard (MBACP) emma.pritcharddcw
About Us - Dorchester Counselling and Wellbeing Service