When anxiety hits, don’t delay - take action!
I first experienced anxiety when I left home to study at University of Liverpool, in 2016. Up until that point, I was confident and outgoing with no previous experience of anxiety. Suddenly, I was in a new city, with new people and starting my university degree. That’s when anxiety reared its head. I was more than capable of the work but, out of nowhere, self-doubt crept in and I simply stopped believing in myself. I was anxious about going to seminars where there would be discussions that would put a focus on me. Then before long, I was anxious about lectures, even though I could easily attend and leave without having to engage with anyone. This quickly seeped into all aspects of life from going to the shops, nights out and any social engagement.
Ultimately, I left university after two years and returned home. Within a few weeks of being at home, my anxiety had gone – I had removed myself from the environment causing it. The mistake was that I didn’t seek counselling to explore the core cause of my anxiety or to learn coping mechanisms to help me.
Fast forward to 2023, and I found myself in a situation I knew all too well, but had almost forgotten. The anxiety was back. I was anxious about work-related issues and general life. I had a full-time job, had just bought a house on my own and was living on my own for the first time in my life. What shocked me was how quickly the anxiety escalated. I began to be again anxious about daily tasks like doing a food shop and going to the gym on my own. Once again, I neglected this until it got to the point that leaving the house on my own was a daily challenge.
After discussions with my GP, I decided to start cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). To be honest, I was sceptical but ended up going as I had nothing to lose! I discussed what I thought was causing my anxiety, my thoughts, my beliefs, my childhood, my reactions. You name it, we discussed it. I am a sceptic no more!
CBT was invaluable. So, what did I learn
- I was able to discuss my feelings whilst linking them back to the unhelpful thoughts I was having. It taught me to challenge these unhelpful, unjustified thoughts rather than just accept them and let them flood my head.
- I have been able to identify my core beliefs and what established them, as well as learning coping mechanisms for overcoming them.
- I have learnt skills and strategies that I now use naturally every day. My way of thinking has completely changed as a result of my CBT.
- I am a very realistic person, sometimes veering on pessimistic. I used to always think of every possible outcome of a situation, often focussing on the negatives. Through CBT, I would now describe myself as an optimistic realist. I accept things for how they are and am hopeful for a good outcome. My thoughts do not spiral like they used to and I am able to look at things in a more rational way.
- I am more aware of how my thoughts, feelings and behaviours are connected.
I attended CBT due to workplace anxiety, but I have discussed many other things. I know myself better for attending CBT and I have a range of skills and copy mechanisms up my sleeve. Anxiety doesn’t just disappear, the severity and the levels of anxiety will fluctuate throughout the seasons of life, but the skills I have learnt will be with me forever. The ups and downs of life do not feel as challenging!
If you had asked me a few years ago about CBT/therapy/counselling, I would have said “not for me” and wouldn’t have entertained it. Now I am a huge advocate for it and would recommend it to anyone struggling with anxiety/stress and unhelpful thinking patterns. Or even if you want to learn more about yourself! It was the most helpful decision I made for myself. You cannot put a price on your mental health.
Written for Iron Mill by Rebecca, July 2024
