The nomadic soldier - still wandering and not at peace

It’s gone, it’s gone now where do I belong,  
I am made of earth and sky, built up from small and developed to stand tall. Many an hour of sweat and blood put in by my body for laying in the mud, waiting and wondering what will be next, in this simple life to which I exist.  
 
It’s gone, it’s gone now where do I belong, I am created from air and forged from fire worked longer and harder trying never to tire. Trained to never give up and never give in, push on push up determined to win. I am stronger beside you and taller I feel, leaving me confident to cope with any ordeal.   
 
It’s gone, it’s gone now where do I belong, I stand on soil not familiar to me surrounded by so many emotions and sounds that just won’t let me be. In the future the soil turns to sand and I still don’t understand why I’m here but it’s not my place to ask these questions or to be open to fear.  
 
It’s gone, it’s gone now where do I belong, we all lay down against anything we can to take the weight off, surely carrying this much this far for others would help us understand why do they hate us? Don’t they know we are loyal and trained to serve, but not allowed to detour from the plan or to lose our nerve.  
 
It’s gone, it’s gone now where do I belong, bowing my head as I watch the family mourn, seeing their tears whilst hiding my own fears.  Thinking, did we do enough, could we do more? These burdens and thoughts we now carry forever and much more.  
 
It’s gone, it’s gone now where do I belong, back home at last with those I love and things I missed, but none of it matters, does it even really exist? I don’t fit in,  I seem to be strange, it’s hard to laugh and harder to cry so many others can’t be here, oh why, did they have to die? 
 
It’s gone, it’s gone now where do I belong, Military life is over it’s time to move on. I leave behind me legends, heroes and ghosts forged with honour still defending their posts. Positive for all things ahead I look forward to the future, being open, optimistic and always having a bed.  
 
It’s gone, it’s gone now where do I belong, employment came along it’s time to get up, first day nerves were settled alarm clock was on. I set it for 7 but we all know that’s too long, 5am came easier,  I cannot sleep in in case something happens or I have to retreat. Laying in isn’t for us that’s when we feel lazy, then the terror begins opening the door to crazy.  
 
It’s gone, it’s gone now where do I belong, sleeping for most is essential to rest but for some of us types it’s a continuous test. We see demons and darkness that now seems to last leaving it ever more difficult to escape from the past . Flashes and flickers of things we can never say, it’s better to hide these dark things away.  
 
It’s gone it’s gone now where do I belong, all the times spent out of my bed, tired and hungry praying for change now I am back it all seems so very, very strange. I wanted peace, I wanted quiet, no noise. Now I pray for action, adventure and something to break this silence.  
 
It’s gone, it’s gone now where do I belong, I am not alone when I read this out, there are thousands of others of that there is no doubt. We can’t escape or run very far but there is strength in numbers and together we have the power. You’re not alone and you never will be, now close your eyes and soar up with me. Our future isn’t dark It’s full of light made even brighter as we learn to sleep at night. My brothers and sisters and wandering all,  you’re amazing you are beautiful and you must stand tall.  
 
Some sort of poem by 
 
G.Fergus